Moonshine Vietnamese Yogurt: Overcoming Shipfood (Recipe included)

I am once again back in the comfort of my kitchen and eagerly reacquainting myself with my dear pots, pans, peeler, pairing knife... sigh of relief and satisfaction. A few of you have been curious to know about my food experiences, not in port, but actually on the ship. In short, I will fondly remember mealtimes onboard for provoking community interaction and fascinating dialogue; eating together as family has never struck so deeply with me. What will not be missed are the chemical-infused vegetables and the all-too-prolific potatoes which plagued all three meals daily.

Day one, upon stepping into the dining hall I immediately knew I was in for a challenge: No access to the galleys, request for work-study as a kitchen prep assistant denied, knives were strictly forbidden aboard the vessel, and an increasingly threatening sign plastered over the hand sanitizer read "Do not remove food items from the dining hall (fruit, cereal, yogurt, silverware, etc.)" - right. How as I to master my sanity for the next 106 days? The buffet line offered increasing terror: sad iceberg lettuce that made me want to weep, unripe tomato wedges occasionally disguised as slices, peanut butter and jelly that slowly morphed into neon shades over the course of the voyage (I kid you not), and an impressively offensive 1LB of potatoes prepared per PASSENGER per DAY (where was the good and simple rice?! Eyes wide in horror).

AN IDEA IS FORMED
While strolling through the dairy aisle at a supermercado in Spain, our first port of call, I was beckoned by fresh yogurt sold in traditional glass jars. As I admired the environmentally friendly, recyclable, awesome packaging, slowly the idea formed that I too could participate in reusing the jars for making my own yogurt. In that lightbulb moment I impulsively committed myself to a subsequent 100 days of small-batch yogurt making in the secrecy of my cabin - mini fridge included). I walked out of the store smiling with yogurt, jars, and a family-sized "La Lechera" sweetened condensed milk in hand.

The yogurt we were offered during breakfast was rather appalling. Containing a dozen or so unnecessary ingredients including unpronounceable preservatives and cornstarch as a thickening agent, it left an indelible imprint on my taste buds for its slimy, plasticky mouthfeel. I exaggerate, but barely. Fortunately by Cape Town the yogurt stock was replenished with quite tasty South African fruit flavors and even Yoplait was a welcome sight on the last leg of our voyage.

Meanwhile however I fell in love with the rebellious mission of creating my own food onboard. My task was facilitated by the self-serve coffee and tea bar provided throughout the day. Milk and sugar condiments were placed conveniently next to the hot water dispenser, one stealthy trip up two decks and across the hall to my cabin. The final count included: yogurt culture, sweetened condensed milk, "fresh" vacuum sealed box milk (provided), and hot water (provided). The elaborate process resulted in a traditional Vietnamese-styled yogurt which is tart, sweet, creamy and deliciously unlike your average supermarket brand. (The process is only laborious due to the confines of the ship - do not be dissuaded to try the recipe, which is incredibly simple and well worth the effort).

ALL IN GOOD FUN
Yogurt making became a bi or tri-weekly chore, meditative in the way folding clothes are for some of you weirdos out there (I admit to being one of them), and dish washing is for others (I am NOT one of you). Every couple of days I would pull out my previous, mostly-eaten batch of yogurt to start a new jar. My original Spanish yogurt was now long gone, but the offspring bacterium robustly continued the legacy. (I'm curious to know what generation I finally reached by the time we docked back in Florida).

Eventually my cabin steward, who was well aware of my on-going illicit project, wanted in on the recipe as well. In hindsight, it was a moderately absurd undertaking: procuring ingredients, mixing, incubating, refrigerating, eating, repeat, repeat, repeat... What did I gain from the inconvenience of hiking up to the 6th deck dining hall for hot water and half a jar of milk, dodging the Chief Officer of Hospitality, to make my witch's brew? Brimming spoonfuls of satisfaction from every mouthful of homemade yogurt that entered my mouth.

THE RECIPE
I've been most successful with this recipe in small batches (ie: one-serving creations), due to limited materials on the ship. However there should be no reason why the recipe wouldn't work equally well in multiply single-service 6 oz containers or even a larger 27 oz bulk batch.

Vietnamese Yogurt
(for 1 serving - 3/4C yogurt)
- hot water (near boiling)
- 1/2 C+ milk (whole works best, or 2%)
- 2 tsp+ sweetened condensed milk (according to taste)
- 1-2 tsp plain yogurt with live culture (I use Trader Joe's organic plain)
NON-EDIBLE Materials:
- small jar (larger Gerber's baby food jar works)
- wide mug (large enough for small jar to sit comfortably inside)
- plastic bag (from produce section of your local market)
- 2 kitchen towels

1) Spoon sweetened condensed milk into the jar
- add a tiny amount of hot water and stir to dissolve
- add milk, stir
2) In a separate bowl stir yogurt culture well until smooth with a small amount of hot water
- add to jar of milk
- fill remaining space in jar with more milk or some hot water
3) Place jar into the mug and create a water bath by filling the mug halfway with hot water
- cover the top of the jar with a napkin or plastic wrap
- place entire set-up (jar + mug) inside a plastic bag and twist the end closed
- wrap the bag+jar+mug in a kitchen towel and insulate it with the second towel
4) Set aside undisturbed in a warm place for at least 6 hours
- at this time you can check on the yogurt to see if it has set (become firm enough for your liking). If not, replenish the hot water bath and rebundle for another 1-2 hours.
- chill in the fridge a least 2 hours before eating (preferably overnight)

* If you have difficulty getting your yogurt to set properly, use the larger amount of yogurt culture
* Typically your second and subsequent batches will work better than the first batch
* You can prepare the yogurt at night and allow it to incubate overnight; place into the fridge in the morning when you wake up - try not to sleep in.